NO LAUGHS IN THE FUTURE
I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
FRENCH NOT SPANISH
The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper. He categorically denied doing so. That led to my next question: “Then why is this in French?”
TELEPATHETIC
My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. She’s telepathetic.
RIDING ATTIRE
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
Attire.
SLEEPING DOGS
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”
YOU ARE JUST FINE
Our doctor’s office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. That didn’t suit my husband.
“What’s my cholesterol level?” he asked.
“Mr. Crocker, you are just fine,” insisted the nurse.
“Still, I’d like you to mail me the results.”
A few days later, he received a postcard from the doctor’s office. It read, “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine!
TOO MUCH TIME
I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
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